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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28904424">Who needs to be sated?</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/SuushiShark/pseuds/SuushiShark'>SuushiShark</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Show me your hurt [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>SEVENTEEN (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Eating Disorders, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Eating Disorders, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Suicidal Thoughts, M/M, Self-Harm</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 09:09:31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,877</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28904424</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/SuushiShark/pseuds/SuushiShark</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Eating is supposed to supply your body with energy and has positive consequences. Wonwoo's brain doesn't exactly agree with that and provokes an argument with Mingyu in the process.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Jeon Wonwoo/Kim Mingyu</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Show me your hurt [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2119794</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>34</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Who needs to be sated?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"I feel queasy..." </p><p>Wonwoo nuzzled his face further into Mingyu's neck, currently laying on the taller's broad chest, tucked in beneath their comforter on their bed. He let out a shaky breath, unsure whether he had to make a sprint to the bathroom soon or if his stomach would calm down on its own. </p><p>Soon, Wonwoo felt Mingyu place a kiss on the crown of his head, before Mingyu loosely began stroking his back. </p><p>"Did you eat anything bad today? Or a weird food combination?" </p><p>Wonwoo tried to think back to what he ate that day, lowly humming in thoughts. He backtracked his whole day which was mostly spent in their dorm, only having had morning dance practice as they otherwise had been given a rare day off. </p><p>The older received a slight nudge from his boyfriend, having gone silent for too long for his taste. </p><p>"I.. I don't remember eating at all today, so no." </p><p>The strokes on Wonwoo's back stopped at that and he immediately knew, he was in for a scolding. Ever since Minygu became his boyfriend, the younger declared himself as his personal cook, being determined to end his bad eating habits by force feeding him self-made food. While he sometimes went too far with the feeding part, it wasn't exactly unpleasant. After all, he was a great cook. </p><p>Mingyu groaned, pushing Wonwoo off him and rolling them over, placing his arms next to Wonwoo's head. Meanwhile Wonwoo gnawed on his lip in guilt, avoiding eye contact. </p><p>Wonwoo wasn't exactly sure why he didn't eat over the day. He had felt hungry, he had considered making himself food multiple times, even almost asking Mingyu to join him. </p><p>He just didn't want himself to eat. </p><p>"Hyung, look at me." </p><p>He gulped, turning his head to the side. </p><p>"Wonwoo, <em>please</em>." </p><p>Minygu carefully grabbed his chin and turned his face towards him again. Wonwoo pressed his lips together and sheepishly met the other's eyes. </p><p>"Baby, please don't run away. Let's talk." </p><p>After receiving a timid nod, Mingyu broke out into a caring smile, cupping Wonwoo's cheek with his left hand and caressed it in a calming manner. </p><p>"Tell me, why didn't you eat today. Did you not have an appetite? Maybe you're getting sick." </p><p>"No, it's.. not that." </p><p>"What's then, hm?" </p><p>"I don't know.." </p><p>A whisper. "Don't lie to me, Wonwoo." </p><p>Shyly, Wonwoo leaned into Mingyu's touch, his own hand coming up and touching Mingyu’s, avoiding once again the questioning glance he was thrown. </p><p>Letting out a sigh, Mingyu leaned down and pressed a kiss against Wonwoo's forehead, letting his lips linger there for a bit. He turned his hand over and interlocked their hands together, squeezing Wonwoo's reassuringly and looking at him with hopeful eyes. </p><p>"What is happening, baby? Make me understand." </p><p>"It's nothing.. really." </p><p>"It clearly is not nothing for you." </p><p>"I-" </p><p>Wonwoo bit his bottom lip, hard. However, Mingyu lowly tutted at him. Once Wonwoo released his lip, Mingyu kissed the corner of his mouth rewardingly. </p><p>"I just.. don't want myself to eat." </p><p>Silently, Mingyu urged the older to continue speaking. </p><p>"I-, I don't, it's.. it's really stupid. There isn't really a reason <em>why</em>, I just.." </p><p>Taking a deep breath, Wonwoo closed his eyes, out of insecurity <em>and shame</em>, feeling his cheeks slowly heating up. </p><p>"I guess I want myself to <em>suffer</em>.." </p><p>There it was.</p><p>His most inner thoughts out in the open, making him utterly vulnerable.</p><p>Time seemed to come to a standstill for Wonw. All of a sudden he became hyper aware of his racing heart and his sweaty palms and his hands squeezing Mingyu's so tight he must hurt him and the tight knot in the middle of his chest, assembling all his anxiety, weighing him down and pressing on his lungs– </p><p>"Sweetheart, breath." </p><p>Wonwoo's eye flew open, coughing, gasping for air before he managed to take a tentative breath. </p><p>"There you go, I'm proud of you sweetie, keep going." </p><p>He slowly nodded and continued to even out his breathing. </p><p>Inhale. </p><p>Exhale. </p><p>Inhale. </p><p>Exhale. </p><p>Inhale. </p><p>Exhale. </p><p>"I think, I'm good now.." </p><p>"I'm glad. Can we continue talking, or-" </p><p>"No, it's fine, just- Let's get it over with quickly, please.." </p><p>"Okay. Thank you, for trusting me." </p><p>At Mingyu’s words, Wonwoo felt warmth blossoming in his chest, putting him slowly at ease again. His brain seemed to easily go into overdrive nowadays, making him dread what he might experience in the future, since it probably won’t always happen when he was either alone or with Mingyu at home. He could just hope he won’t ever experience a serious freak-out of his during a schedule.</p><p>Mingyu lay down besides Wonwoo slowly, laid a hand on his waist and pulled their bodies closer together, all while smiling at him with sad eyes. Wonwoo brought his hand that wasn’t still holding Mingyu’s to the taller’s back and carefully grabbed his shirt. </p><p>Closing his eyes, Wonwoo let his body go slack, tension leaving his body for now, the queasiness from earlier already forgotten. However, he knew their peaceful state wouldn’t last long, Mingyu wanting to pursue their conversation.</p><p>"Wonwoo... What you're doing, this-, this can be considered as <em>self-harm</em>. Are you doing this because you're self-conscious of your body? Because of self-hatred?" </p><p>"I mean.. it's not like I never experience <em>that</em> but.. no, none of that. Only my brain wanting to see me.. hurt." </p><p>A pained noise escaped Mingyu's throat, pulling Wonwoo even closer to him and hugging him tight as if he would dissipate into air any second. For a second, Wonwoo felt like he was suffocating, not because of the hug, but from all the guilt he felt for burdening his boyfriend with this.</p><p>"Wonwoo, Hyung, you don't just do this normally simply because you feel like it. I-, I don't want you to hurt. You don't <em>deserve</em> to hurt." </p><p>Heaving a deep sigh, Mingyu sat up, pulling a dazed Wonwoo with him and up off the bed, dragging him out of the room and toward the communal kitchen. From afar Wonwoo spotted Seungcheol already seated, eating some instant ramen as a late night snack as it seems. </p><p>"Mingyu, what are you–" </p><p>"What does it look like, I'll cook for my starving boyfriend. Now sit with Seungcheol." </p><p>"It's fine, really–" </p><p>Abruptly, Mingyu turned around to face Wonwoo, eyes brimming with tears, stunning the older temporarily into silence. </p><p>"No, it's not! I won't just stand on the sideline while my boyfriend is slowly killing himself!" </p><p>"Listen, if this is about what happened a few nights ago–" </p><p>"Yes, it is, and about today and all possible future events that will occur if I do <em>nothing</em> and just let yourself rot!" </p><p>Seungcheol cleared his throat, gaining the attention of both men arguing. Pointing toward the vacant chairs at the table, he looked at them expectantly, raising an eyebrow. </p><p>"How about you both have a seat and explain to me what's going on?" </p><p>Wonwoo ran his hand through his hair, slowly getting stressed and with Seungcheol’s attention now uneasy too, eventually following Mingyu suit who situated himself almost immediately in front of their leader. </p><p>"Let's start from the beginning." </p><p>Once again, Wonwoo bit down on his bottom lip, rolling it around between the teeth.</p><p>"Gyu, could you maybe.." </p><p>Wonwoo wrung his hands nervously, originally having persuaded the younger not to talk to Seungcheol about his.. freak-out. In the end, he had felt embarrassed by what happened and didn't want to unnecessarily burden their leader with worry for him. </p><p>This seemed to become a recurring problem.</p><p>Reaching for Wonwoo's hand, startling him out of his thoughts, and sparing him a small smile in an reassuring matter, Mingyu started explaining. </p><p>"A few nights ago, Wonwoo worked himself up into some sort of panic or anxiety attack or whatever it was. He even.. he unconsciously hurt himself by biting his wrists in the process.”</p><p>Looking down at the hem of his sleeves, Wonwoo remembered glum the dark, purplish bruises which partially are still there.</p><p>“Badly, kinda..”</p><p>Wonwoo winced.</p><p>“It's fine though, I took care of the wounds, but when asked about what happened.. he said it was because nothing felt <em>real</em>. A-and today he suddenly talks about wanting to see <em>himself hurt</em>, so he skipped every meal today. I just-.. I don't want to lose him, hyung.." </p><p>Biting down on his lip harder, Wonwoo weakly squeezed Mingyu's hand. Lifting weakly his head a little bit, he saw Seungcheol nodding understandably while observing him with a serious look. Slightly, Wonwoo squirmed in his seat anxiously, knowing what Mingyu said implied about him. </p><p>"Wonwoo, are you by chance suicidal?" </p><p>Ah.</p><p>Is this, what was wrong with him?</p><p>His entire body went stiff and he momentarily held his breath. He can't say he didn't consider this option before, but he supposes he didn't want it to be <em>reality</em>, hence he didn't give it much thought, let alone mention it to Mingyu. But was he really? Or was this just a one time thing? </p><p>Wonwoo licked his lips, faintly tasting metal, presumably from accidentally biting his lip wound all this time. </p><p>"I.. what if I am, hyung?" </p><p>"Then we can get you the help you need." </p><p>"But what if I don't want.. help." </p><p>Upon seeing how sad Seungcheol’s eyes turned when he peered up at him, Wonwoo looked down again, feeling already stupid for even discussing this matter. He felt Mingyu's hand shake in his, making him feel guilt even more prominently. </p><p>He, too, would be pretty shaken up hearing his boyfriend is interested in ceasing to exist. So he definitely couldn’t blame Mingyu a bit for reacting like this. Hopefully, the younger won’t ever blame himself for anything stupid Wonwoo maybe does.</p><p>"Of course we can't really force you to get help, Wonwoo. But remember it as an option, please. An <em>real</em> option. Other than.. you know." </p><p>Wonwoo nodded timidly, already steeling himself to sit in this awkward atmosphere for even longer, only to end up looking up surprised at Seungcheol sliding his cup of ramen across the table towards him with a tired smile. </p><p>"It's late, so eat this instead of the whole meal Mingyu would've cooked for you. Both of you should sleep soon and I haven't eaten much yet and had a big dinner earlier anyway." </p><p>Wonwoo just stared at the cup, his mouth forming a thin line, feeling regret. He picked up the chopsticks with shaky hands, feeling his stomach churn at the smell and prospect of eating.</p><p>"Hyung, I-.. I don't think I could-, even if I <em>tried</em>, I-, I don't think I can even <em>swallow</em> a bit of this, even less.. actually keep it down, currently.." </p><p>Hearing both, Seungcheol <em>and</em> Mingyu sigh in resignation, made him seriously want to cry. His gut feeling just told him, his body would fully refuse to take in any food at the moment thanks to his train of thoughts. </p><p>He stuck the chopsticks back in the cup, suppressing the tears that stung in his eyes from flowing freely.</p><p>"I'm sorry.." </p><p>As soon as the words left his lips, Mingyu pulled him into a hug, shakily exhaling next to his ear, obviously still worked up from their earlier disagreement. </p><p>"No, it's fine, just.. promise to think about hyung's words, sweetheart." </p><p>"Yeah.. i promise."</p>
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